Amazing Grace

the mere thought of asking God for help in times of trouble is already a proof that HE is calling me..

and i can feel in every nerve in my body the willingness to submit..

i am happy to say, that He healed me.

i used to be blind, but now i can see..

bottom line

mahal ko pa din sia :-( hay nako!

to that "FOOL" hearted man: tis what i say to you

you're the kind of man that makes a woman think that you can change, but guess what baby, the only thing that is changing is my way of thinking! i am not going through your lie bounded-love story plan for me again.. i am also thinking that someday, someone is gonna give you a lesson about leaving someone who loves you so much--and i hope i am there to see you knocked down....

done ignoring the red flags

why bother spending time to think about someone and their intentions when they should have revealed it the moment you meet [if they really have good ones]

EUROPA 2011

Germany baby!


i hope this time everything will be ok.. :-)

dasal galore mode!

letting go is not a one time-thing.. for me, it should be done every day til you finally "let go"

I hate being put in this position.. I'm forcing myself to let go of the one person that I need in my life. He's the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me.. I know that I'm better off without him, yet I feel empty whenever I try to let go...but I guess that emptiness is better than constant hurt.

I choose to finally go cause I can't stand this pain. It's time for my last tear to fall and me to smile again.

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend...

You hug him good-bye like it's nothing... while all you want to do is hold on forever...but you let go, smile and walk away... then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same... because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free... and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all.

i have to let go now... i wanna love you and myself better....

sick in the mind to the nth power

he did it again.

no, actually, we did it again.

he fooled me, i let him fool me.

now he's back in davao, and im here crying.

aarrrrrrrrrgh!

so true 101

"To be sure, none of us is perfect. And that needs to be seen for exactly what it is: a fact . . . a condition, not an excuse. Compensating for our imperfections and overcoming the temptations we face require commitment and self-discipline. Behaving ethically - being people of integrity - isn't always easy, but it is always right!"

when will i ever learn???

i wanna talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me... atleast that's what i think... i want an old friend to counsel me but because of what i did to him and his family, it will never happen..

im so messed up.. for a month, i was able to survive a world without the thought of jerome and suddenly, he'll bust in the door and act and there i was----fooled again.


a night after the rendezvous, i'll wake up feeling worse than hurt [waaaay deep inside]

ouch :-(

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why do you have to tell me you love me and act like it when you're just there to torn my heart into pieces--again! and you, my dear crazy heart, why do you always fall for it????

can't stop the moonlight

oh my.... he was trying to call me coz he is in manila...

didn't answer 2 calls before finally responding..

we met up...

and the rest is history. :-)


lol

he bought a DSLR camera, and that's quite an adventure! why?

ok... here's why,.

we met up friday morning...

he only had an hour of sleep and me? NONE.

we went to glorietta and made a canvass...

jerome was eyeing for the lens--NOT the cam hahaha

so we went to SONY first and checked what they have, then to canon, back to sony, back to canon comparing specs now... can you imagine? and btw, i was wearing a 4in heeled shoe :-p

it was around 2pm and we really can't understand what the sales people are saying so we decided to sleep first...

after a few hours, we went SLR hunting again, this time to MOA... and lol we went to CANON AGAIN...... this time to compare prices.....

then God sent mr alexander, a photographer.... hekhek, he was carrying a dslr cam with a looooooong lens so we asked him for tips about camera quality and the like, to our surprise, he also knows where to get the cheapest :-)

he's friends with the canon shops owner! yey! so jerome got his canon d550 and 2 lens (18x55m forgot the other one) for only 45k!

now jerome has a new toy... hope he'll do well in his new found passion :-)


oh yeah, i almost forgot... before we said our goodbyes, we exchanged L words... like awavshu! hahahahaha and then he went back to his hotel, me? i went back directly to work NO SLEEP.... now pa lang... and i am still online hehehehe

MISSED CALL :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tnzTCWpp0k

i had a missed call from someone i dare not mention thy name hehehe

this is my answer.. :-)

leave me alone... please..

salary----got it--held it--now it's gone! lol

wow.... i got my first salary from hinduja... so happy and after holding it, i immediately gave it away.. lol i paid debts and sent money home.. tsk tsk

independent woman [rants]

yikes, do i really have a right to call myself a woman? hehehe i think i do.... love thyself right? :-p
it's so hard to stay away from home and not have someone to spend time with.. i have my friends at work but they live so far from where im staying at so bonding afterwork is really not an option :-(


i miss having company! ugh....... i can't even go out much and stroll in malls because our first salary will only be released on the fifteenth... it's the 14th now and the ATM already has money in it but lucky me--IT WON'T DISPENSE CASH! waaaah so crazy! i don't even have enough money for today, so goodluck to me later...

so what do i do to kill time? i stay late in the office and come oh so early..... my shift is 8p to 5a and i arrive 3hours before it starts, leave atleast 2 hours after it ended.... yeah i know, my life is so boring!

alcoholic mind

love... how do you define it?

they say that when you truly love someone, fight for them.

others say let them go..

i say, fight for the one you love but when the other person tells you to stop----

that's the time to let go...

it's hard to do but it is not impossible...

learning to give happiness to the one you love with you out of the picture is also a way of showing your love and respect for yourself..

love is everything we do...

wait a minute...

i am done feeling like THE failure in every past rel i had..

hmm... i was good to my exs.. ugh... all this time, i've been torturing myself for thinking that i was the mistake they committed, DUH!!!! i was good to them... now im finally getting that thinking stuff going on inside my head lol

i believe i deserve credit though... i don't think it's right for any of them to make me feel like that way----again..

i am happy now i am single. not willing to mingle haha

it's my own heartache that taught me to focus on myself for once....

fact 101

When we believe how things should or shouldn't be, rather than how they are, we are living an illusion. The more we focus on illusions, the more we block out reality. Likewise, when we focus on problems, we block out solutions.

I am solving my problem, therefore I am now out of my illusion---that you and i should be blah...

minsan ako ay nagseryoso.. :-p

"Without filters we wander aimlessly through life. . . . We are simply out at sea drifting from one distraction to another. Core values create boundaries. Boundaries create focus, and focus minimizes drift."

a relationship is a partnership... if one does not have the proper core values, no boundary will be recognized and without it, there can be no focus resulting to a sure NEGATIVE DRIFT..

GOT IT?

i'll kiss dating goodbye

3 years ago, a very good friend gave me 2 books by Joshua Harris, I kissed dating goodbye and boy meets girl... i never really understood why he chose those books but now i do.... after a series of failed relationships, i finally had the courage to take a look at things a bit seriously..

something is wrong with me and i just don't want to admit it...

i am impatient, aggressive and i lack wisdom. i thought i am ready but i wasn't. i thought i know everything but i clearly have no clue on what to do...

now i am reading the second book of Joshua Harris--boy meets girl and i feel like refraining on obsessing about having someone i can share my life with------coz i know im not yet ready!

this time, i wanna prepare myself... i wanna submit myself first to Him before i start wondering who my perfect mate will be... i now realize the value of time and patience in love, why wisdom is important and why faith is very important...

i feel more at peace now...

i thank kuya levi for giving me those books..... now i know why you're sent. :-)

so true...

When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies, no broken promises.....

midnight crisis

I can't sleep, it's almost 4am and i have been online since 12mn and surprise, surprise... i saw some stuff that reminds a lot of not so pleasant experiences, it sucks to feel that way and so i realized that i had enough... yes i know that i finally had enough... too much pain, too much drama... i want nothing of it...time to move on... time to flip and see the other side of the coin...

Here's a thought.... to let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free...

right?

goodluck to me... :-)

total eclipse of MY heart

oh my goody!!! i super love dr. carlisle cullen of the twilight saga!
i only watched the movie because of him! the role was "beautifully" played/portrayed by peter facinelli (not sure of the spelling) he really captured the doctors description in the book...
if he's real, by all means, he may bite me! hahahahaha

Project Eden

yeah i know i messed up last summer.... now im with a new company, still under the same account though :-) so happy to have a new beginning... im living on my own again... this time, i am really alone...i really have no one to address my immediate needs T.T im surviving naman, so that is a BIG yey for me, as in super milestone! these are some pics of my new CCF--aka my call center family :-p