i need enlightenment

i know myself a few years back but everything crumbled post pangaea.. i know i am not supposed to blame everything because of my past it's just that the more i think about what i am doing right now, the more i realize that it is because i am still somehow in that past.. til now i still get amazed on how perfect everything was back then... i wasn't scared, wasn't worried about anything cause i feel soooo secured. never had i felt alone when i was still in the arms of moo moo... and because of the fact that i patronize him as being THE BEST THERE IS, i kinda compare every single person to him, he became my standard and i am telling you---he's GRAND.

we built a relationship that was not meant to be forgotten, atleast that's what i think... it might seem unfair to others but i can't help myself...

he's a diamond, precious... wanted... desireable..

ugh,,, anyway, a lot has happened to me post moo2... some suitors came and had some affairs that i THOUGHT could replace 2007 in my heart---but nothing became successful.

then came bhernz... another gov official, another intel man, responsible----but i can't feel his presence coz he's always busy, tried to understand but calling me once a month just ain't right..

ritchel---ahh... the chinese businessman, we had chemistry, had some fun dates with him but geeez,,,,.... MANO PO drama happened...

jm---just for fun guy, party boy. spoiled brat.---no my type

jerome---ahh.....he almost did it, but he just failed... not once but twice... he's that person you would want to love but you know you wont be that happy coz he ain't giving you enough assurance... anyway, my stand will remain the same----ALMOST

capt barbel----ah..... a breath of fresh air BUT i can see alot of red lights and red flags... like the young version of moo minus the spiritual side...


----eerrrrr... no one wants to be alone but i'd rather be alone than be with someone who can't provide all the lovin and security i need... basic concept. basic mistake. :-/


WHAT NOW?

i am currently in an internet cafe at Malakas St, East Ave QC...near my old apartment, just wanna think about how i should let go of my past and fnally have a future.... will go to sacred heart parish church after this, then off to trinoma... a date with myself--and my favorite--TATERS nachos hahaha :-P