cookery hehe

kung may isang bagay akong ipagpapasalamat sa ex kong si jerome, siguro yun ay yung pagkakaroon ko ng willingness na magserve sa kanya lol it includes learning how to cook and wash clothes, efficiently. before i used to cook ok but now, i know i'veimproved. i enjoy cooking now, too bad, he never got to taste my new specialty sinigang.. he never actually had a chance to try any food i cook, never had a chance to cook for him kase...

anyway, today, i cooked pork sinigang with lots of gabi and beef caldereta with pickles and mushroom... saraaaap!

how thoughtful!

remember my best bud at work jonel? well... i just wanna share this, he reminds me a lot about my true to life best friend--mackoy. last thursday, when he asked me to watch him practice basketball, he told me NOT to giggle a lot and wear my jacket even if it's soooo hot. (was wearing my cute sleeveless brown top) he said, others might think that i want attention (gym was full with boys) if i try to shoot hoops and not wear my jacket. he said he's just concerned... that's so thoughtful of him! akala ko he's only kalokohan and panlalait sakin but he really is acting like a nice friend now... anyway, he has a game tomorrow, i think it's a try out for the eden basketball team.. im a bit sad coz i wont be able to watch it :-( can't cheer for my gm friend..eerrr gm stands for gay magnet! lol! he is! this rudy fernandez look alike friend of mine is the apple of gays eyes in the office, well cant blame them! jonel is cute and smart, too bad they don't know that he has a super beautiful gf and is very serious about her.... sayang talaga, i'll just tell him na sa isip ko chinicheer ko sia dun hahaha thoughtful din ako eh!

my maid of honor gown

this is going to be my gown... the colored lace will be silver.. :-)

pia.gov.ph HACKED

I think, our government should try to investigate on this for someone or some people are trying to instigate war between our country and china.. this is also not an isolated case for earlier today, bulacan.ph was also hacked. this is a bit alarming and the sad thing is, it might not even be done by a chinese but only by an idiotic pinoy..

wedding bells!

my sister is getting married!!!

oh my! i never thought that it would excite me.. i never believed in it for the longest time! now, im starting to see its importance to a couples life.. it is a milestone...


i am helping my mom prepare for it, we now have a venue, it's fernbrook gardens in alabang.. a very elegant and romantic place for such occasion.. my sister loves it and so now, im only concerned about the guests accomodation...

my sister and her bethrowed (naks) will be here a month before the wedding and their guests will be here a week before the big day...

they're foreigners so i need to get a suitable place for them.. hope i can make reservations soon..

im really enjoying planning this... i want my sister to have a great wedding and marriage of course (there's a HUGE difference) i want that day to be one of her best...

as for me, i don't know if i will ever get married... my heart just had a very bad turn this year i don't think i am ready or will ever be ready for a new relationship again.. oh well.. this is not about me.. it's for my sister and i love her that's why im gonna make sure that everything will be perfect..

can't wait!

tama.

"if you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you'll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority."


Kaya minsan, mas tamang bumitiw kapag alam mong di ka pinahahalagahan. malay mo, sa pagbitaw mong yun, mahulog ka sa tamang pwesto at masalo ng tamang tao.. :-)

yeyema!

oh my!

i really like durian yema!

a dear ex-suitor-turned-good-friend of mine is in davao city today and will bring me those yummy candies for pasalubong once he get back to manila anytime this week... he also promised to go wall climbing with me hah! who's sporty now?! i am sooooo excited! haven't seen him for ages! this is the right time to have fun, right?!

flying without wings

when you love yourself enough, you will be able to appreciate things better...
you will see everything as a GIFT and i am learning to recognize my blessings... great!

thanks, but no thanks bro.....

i received a call from someone totally unexpected.

that person made me feel so much better about myself BUT i don't think re-building a "friendship" that once existed is appropriate this time.... sorry, but i want time for myself.... i want to feel contented being single first before i commit again... giving so much is tiring sometimes and i honestly don't want to feel this annoying pain EVER again... :-/



love is really funny.... we all yearn for it but once we get it---we ignore it. once we claim it---it gets lost right before our eyes... oh well LOVE IS ALL A GAMBLE.. rigth?!

HOSTAGE!

oh my... that was one bloody mess! i seriously think that the new security offices of our country sucks! if they planned to have the hostage taker dead at the end of the drama, they could have just shot him while no tourist was yet to be shot! how stupid of them! the hostage taker even leaned on the glass window of the bus for minutes and they did nothing! they could even have the wheels of the bus shot by a sniper using a silencer.. i don't know but hell! that incident made the philippines look so bad! i blame both the media and the poor planning of those policemen for this.. it's a shame that ROLANDO MENDOZA is a Filipino...... it's a shame that there are mindless idiots roaming around! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

photography 101

got 1 of my ex's register me for a photography 101 seminar on November. i am so excited! yes i know i don't have a camera yet and my bez is still too busy to buy that cam for me so i have decided to apply for a credit card and buy one for myself. i want the nikon d3100, it is not that expensive, it's only 35k unlike the others that might cost 40k+ . it's so much better than the one that i originally planned to have (d40 or a d90) this one is a 14.2megapix cam that comes with a live view, a new powerful EXPEED 2 processing engine and a wide range of NIKKOR*2 lenses deliver excellent pictures with amazing detail wherever you are and whatever you are doing. It has ISO 100-3200 sensitivity, with the versatility of effectively boosting ISO up to 12800. This significantly reduces the risk of blurred images when taking pictures! isn't it great?! it also has a 3in lcd screen, dual integrated dust reduction system plus it is also very light! i can't wait to put my hands on them!!! rarrrr!


if i become good at this, my best friend and i will put up a studio... he already has 6 lenses, 2 nikon cam bodies plus he will also study formally in japan... i can't wait!!!!

moving on.... again and finally :-)

i watched titanic earlier today, thanks to the pile of pirated dvds that my aunt owns :-) it helped a lot in remembering what love should be... how to move on... how to go on... frankly, i don't think i lost someone, i believe i just lost a part of myself. i gave it away and completely surrendered it to someone who did't want it. that's what makes it hard for me. i loved too much and i didn't listen to anyone, just like what rose did in the movie. the only difference is that, she trusted her heart to a man who loved her back---she did the right thing, she earned the rewards of taking risks in love. i tried to do the same unfortunately, i gave it not to a jack dawson---i gave it to "just some guy" and now i know that not every male who loves their mother can be a lovable partner too---still has to take a good look at them..


whew.... crying over that is no option....I WILL MOVE ON no matter what (love that phrase). And hah! like what celine dion's song said: "i believe that the heart does go on....."

TEAM BEER WOLF!

oh i just got a text message from my TL Resty, he informed me that i am going to be a part of his team--teamberwolf. :-) im so happy! jonel, my best bud at work is also my team mate! i feel like i have a good chance of getting promoted! i swear i will take this company seriously! goodluck to me!

funny moments with friends

i forgot how it felt to be really, genuinely happy so i searched for some funny pics i have with my friends. i want that life back! i forgot how it felt to be alive!

spur of the moment?

i think not.

i applied at fitness first.
i will apply for a credit card.
i will buy a new phone.
will get my hair done next week

i have decided to stop thinking about what makes me sad..why should i right?

i managed to do it after moo, i can do it again.

plus, i have a belief that courage is like a muscle, it gains strength with usage. THIS is the perfect time for it. i can't wait for my endorphins to be released!

this is life! no lies. no insecurities. no stupid people to nurse! :-)

SLR

LOL they uploaded MY PICTURES, not the ones that i took :-( maybe they're not that good..sayang! but i am happy coz i got to use my friends slr cams! :-) i used d60, d90 and this canon cam.

oh no!

i saw a young lady earlier, probably a 14yr old girl who reminded me of someone... i felt sick.. i did not know i was also attached to blah..... T.T

the drunkard!

LOL i don't know how many group messages i sent out to the wrong group last night! anyway, here's my most drunk look!

...

i wish..

i can be like someone---- COLD. not bitter, just COLD.

LUHA LOL

lol the song says what i feel inside ye it makes me laugh since it's an aegis song and i sang it last night during my drunk loser moment! :-)



Akala ko ikaw ay akin
Totoo sa aking paningin
Ngunit nang ikaw ay yakapin
Naglaho sa dilim
Ninais kong mapalapit sa'yo
Ninais kong malaman mo
Ang mga paghihirap ko
Balewala lang sa'yo

Ikaw ay aking minahal
Kasama ko ang Maykapal
Ngunit ako pala'y naging isang hangal
Naghahangad ng isang katulad mo

Hindi ko na kailangan
Umalis ka na sa aking harapan
Damdamin ko sa `yo ngayon ay naglaho na
At ito ang 'yong tandaan
Ako'y masyadong nasaktan
Pag-ibig at pagsuyo na kahit na sa luha
Mababayaran mo

Tingnan mo ang katotohanan
Na tayo'y pare-pareho lamang
May damdamin ding nasasaktan
Puso mo'y nasaan?

PUSO MO AY NASAAN? :-P

..conquering my mountain :-)

Well, I opened my heart, and I let you in. I promised I'd never love again.. I deal with your memories the best I can and I've even been out too, i hope someday I will truly get over you.. If I could ever feel the way I felt and if my heart approves... well, I'll take a chance with someone else.. :-)

I never thought I'd see it but I think I see the light now.. I know that what I have to do is get on with my life an stop wasting it on you but I can't fake another day and
I can't face a night without the ghost of you so I will just take another breath and try let it go one step at a time. :-)

:-)

alright it's 3am and i am still awake. im not drunk anymore but i am thinking again.


"maybe the song close open was taught to children for them to know when to get things and when to let them go."

nice thought right?

my heart has been closed for all the wrong reasons..

now it is time to open up again :-)

dear ex bf..

i don't miss you. i miss the man i THOUGHT you were...

SLR galore!

yey! i am sooooo happy... my baby brother khalil lend me his dslr cam (nikon d90) to have some practice at taking pics... i can't wait to see the pics tomorrow... i had a blast today, from taking pics to getting all drunk tonight.. im soooo tired!

LADY "GA"

thank you for teaching me how to love.. for teaching me how to feel, for showing me my emotions and for letting me know

what's real
from what is not..

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME EXPERIENCE THE KIND OF LOVE YOU KNOW I DESERVE. it's been 3 years, yet our time still is the best afterall... :-)

best bud @ work

im thriving well... that's one thing.

i have a very honest frined at work--Jonel.

my goodness, he's so tactless eerrr brutally honest when it comes to me.. but i like it. atleast he tells me stuff that im scared to admit.. he's like a lil bro even if im just 8monthns older than him, he's like my bestfriend mac! my workday is not going to be complete if i won't hear anything crazily negative about me from him--makes me laugh a lot!

last night, he saw me teary eyed at the stairs going to the 2nd flr pantry.. he noticed it and asked me why--told him that i was just touched by someoness honesty and then he said he knows that it is not the reason, he said he knows it has something to do with another person errr from the opposite sex--BINGO! so there... told him what has been bothering me and he said:

"friend, ang tanga mo... wag ka magsuicide para namang huling lalake na sa mundo yang iniiyakan mo.."

i told him my reason for crying... that i love the other person. and of course he asked me the one thing that i don't want to be asked..

"bakit, mahal ka ba niya?"

i took a deep breath and was not able to answer coz tears already flooded my eyes..

i know he doesn't... that's what i said inside... and then, he said the thing that i kinda didn't expect from him:

"kase ang happiness hindi dinedepend sa ibang tao, dapat mahalin mo muna sarili mo bago ka nagiilusyon sa relasyon.. sa tingin mo, self love yan? self torture yan.. tumigil ka na, muka kang tanga.."

how sweet right? he called me tanga again LOL

that's funny but that's true.. perhaps tanga nga ako for sticking up with someone and for ignoring the obvious signs that i am just in for some more PAIN...

hay... love is confusing! false hopes! i thought accepting someone as they are will make relationships easier, I DID but it made my life harder..... no more please.. i hope i can really stop now. :'c

whatever......

"i love you."

"i adore you."

those are strong statements.

never say it unless you mean it---said my friend.

now i know why it was never mentioned to me...

now i know why it was only "texted"

when someone told me he adores me, it's just a lie.....

a BIG FAT LIE i wanted so much to believe.

Yeah right..

Grrr.... Sometimes, choosing the person you will love is a necessity. They say, we should never make a record of wrong doings when we are in a partnership, but in love and in real life- i think WE HAVE TO.. we need to keep our eyes wide--open! We need to know someone deeply before we try to build a relationship with them, if not-then we are just like giving away our right to security.. yes security---that the person you are with feels the same way for you. Yes we must take risks but sometimes, we shouldn't.. we most definitely have to be careful and cautious specially if we want to have that relationship we want. Am i making any sense? I don't know, a bottle of beer really makes me dizzy, perhaps a bit delirious too. oh well... who cares?

back at 1

Lately I've been thinking that it's time too realize that I've been so blind..
with you I never really spoke my mind.. you always put me down..
now I feel my life is so refine.. i think i am finally able to shine..

Never really made it to cloud 9 with you and now that you're gone I think I'm doing just fine..
Can't believe I wasted all my time.. sometimes i wish I can press rewind and leave everything that you gave behind.

Everything I gave you'd break it ..I was so hurt that my heart couldn't take it
You always say sorry but i know you don't mean it..

i think i wanna be over you.

happy at work

my hearts desire

well.. maybe i am on a rush....

i want to get married. i want to have a husband who wants to see me after work.. who will kiss me in the forehead when he arrives... a family of my own. i wanna see myself looking at a tiny baby with loving eyes while another is set on me... i wanna take care of someone and be with him til my hair becomes grey.. i wanna sit beside someone and have a quiet moment--in perfect peace. i want a quiet life, no angst.. nothing but love... i want that... i am inlove with someone now but i really can't see myself having a future with him... yes it is odd but i just don't think that he can reciprocate the passion i have for him.. i know love should be unconditional but letting someone treat you in a way you don't deserve to be treated is not a way of loving yourself unconditionally.

i know how to love. and i know someone will love me the way i know how to love....

headache

now i really know how hard it is to be the head of the family... im getting sick from having 2 jobs :-( my gosh.... lotto na lang yata pagasa ko now hahaha

i see you

i can see the odds, but i don't care... i choose to be hopeful.. if this time we will still fail to be a good couple, then that is it... i cannot afford to get hurt again by one person....