mixed nuts

Ouch. YEY!! Ouch. YEY!! Oh crap..... @.@

oh my... I'm losing it.... I think I've officially lost my mind...

I had a very good, almost perfect relationship with someone before but I was really never as happy as when I am with Jerome.. may it be physically or just in the cyber world... I don't know why I somehow feel like a fool after I smile and laugh with Jerome.. It's strange... I love him but while I am loving him, I am also hurting... Hurting because I am scared and I am scared because I am SCARRED. whew!

I never thought that I can really carry on feeling like this everyday for the past few months...

I can't seem to stop loving and hurting and somehow hating him all at the same time...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...............


but one thing is for sure.....

I will be certain on what I really feel about him when I see him again..

envy much?

all i can say is.. i am not trying so hard to be me because i love myself and the life that i got going....




sounds familiar?

of course, that's what i always say.. that is also in my previous blog and in my friendster account.. hmmm.... i wonder why i can see it in your profile....

the beach!

i sooo love anawangin!

LSS

ahhh... ms saigon.... i really love it.... an older friend loves telling the story over and over to me and i love it! i just find it simply romantic and the song last night of the world just makes me want to find that person whom i'll do everything for, i think i already did, the only problem is that the person doesn't seem to feel the same.. oh well, here's the lyrics of that song


In a place that won't let us feel
In a life where nothing seems real
I have found you
I have found you
In a world that's moving too fast
In a world where nothing can last
I will hold you
I will hold you

Our lives will change when tomorrow comes
Tonight our hearts drown the distant drums
and we have music all right
tearing the night

A song
played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us love goes on and on
played on a solo saxophone
It's telling me
to hold you tight
and dance like it's the last night of the world

On the other side of the earth
There's a place where life still has worth
I will take you
I'll go with you
You won't believe all the things you'll see
I know 'cause you'll see them all with me

If we're together that's when
we'll hear it again

A song
played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us love goes on and on
Played on a solo saxophone
It's telling me
to hold you tight
and dance like it's the last night of the world

Dreams
they were all I ever knew
Dreams
you won't need when I'm through
Anywhere
we may be
I will sing with you
a song...

A song played on a solo saxophone
So stay with me
and hold me tight
and dance
like it's the last night of the world

i miss everyhtthing

i miss having a step daughter. i don't know why the thought struck me tonight... before, i used to buy things for jeromes daughter, i enjoy every minute of it... i love helping jerome in helping her. i love talking to her.... i am just sad coz i enjoyed it so much that it made me feel obliged to be there for her and now, i just can't.

siquijor

i can't believe im going to siquijor! hehe.. some workmates and i have been planning for a road trip since the start of training and now that plan is going to happen... jesi, has a rest house in siquijor so we decided to go there... creepy right? the stories about aswangs are pretty scary but it's still going to be fun, i just know... :-)

we booked flights for oct 16-18... we'll land in cebu para makagala for a few hours then ride a boat going to siquijor in the aftie...

i am really excited!

cookery hehe

kung may isang bagay akong ipagpapasalamat sa ex kong si jerome, siguro yun ay yung pagkakaroon ko ng willingness na magserve sa kanya lol it includes learning how to cook and wash clothes, efficiently. before i used to cook ok but now, i know i'veimproved. i enjoy cooking now, too bad, he never got to taste my new specialty sinigang.. he never actually had a chance to try any food i cook, never had a chance to cook for him kase...

anyway, today, i cooked pork sinigang with lots of gabi and beef caldereta with pickles and mushroom... saraaaap!

how thoughtful!

remember my best bud at work jonel? well... i just wanna share this, he reminds me a lot about my true to life best friend--mackoy. last thursday, when he asked me to watch him practice basketball, he told me NOT to giggle a lot and wear my jacket even if it's soooo hot. (was wearing my cute sleeveless brown top) he said, others might think that i want attention (gym was full with boys) if i try to shoot hoops and not wear my jacket. he said he's just concerned... that's so thoughtful of him! akala ko he's only kalokohan and panlalait sakin but he really is acting like a nice friend now... anyway, he has a game tomorrow, i think it's a try out for the eden basketball team.. im a bit sad coz i wont be able to watch it :-( can't cheer for my gm friend..eerrr gm stands for gay magnet! lol! he is! this rudy fernandez look alike friend of mine is the apple of gays eyes in the office, well cant blame them! jonel is cute and smart, too bad they don't know that he has a super beautiful gf and is very serious about her.... sayang talaga, i'll just tell him na sa isip ko chinicheer ko sia dun hahaha thoughtful din ako eh!

my maid of honor gown

this is going to be my gown... the colored lace will be silver.. :-)

pia.gov.ph HACKED

I think, our government should try to investigate on this for someone or some people are trying to instigate war between our country and china.. this is also not an isolated case for earlier today, bulacan.ph was also hacked. this is a bit alarming and the sad thing is, it might not even be done by a chinese but only by an idiotic pinoy..

wedding bells!

my sister is getting married!!!

oh my! i never thought that it would excite me.. i never believed in it for the longest time! now, im starting to see its importance to a couples life.. it is a milestone...


i am helping my mom prepare for it, we now have a venue, it's fernbrook gardens in alabang.. a very elegant and romantic place for such occasion.. my sister loves it and so now, im only concerned about the guests accomodation...

my sister and her bethrowed (naks) will be here a month before the wedding and their guests will be here a week before the big day...

they're foreigners so i need to get a suitable place for them.. hope i can make reservations soon..

im really enjoying planning this... i want my sister to have a great wedding and marriage of course (there's a HUGE difference) i want that day to be one of her best...

as for me, i don't know if i will ever get married... my heart just had a very bad turn this year i don't think i am ready or will ever be ready for a new relationship again.. oh well.. this is not about me.. it's for my sister and i love her that's why im gonna make sure that everything will be perfect..

can't wait!

tama.

"if you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you'll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority."


Kaya minsan, mas tamang bumitiw kapag alam mong di ka pinahahalagahan. malay mo, sa pagbitaw mong yun, mahulog ka sa tamang pwesto at masalo ng tamang tao.. :-)

yeyema!

oh my!

i really like durian yema!

a dear ex-suitor-turned-good-friend of mine is in davao city today and will bring me those yummy candies for pasalubong once he get back to manila anytime this week... he also promised to go wall climbing with me hah! who's sporty now?! i am sooooo excited! haven't seen him for ages! this is the right time to have fun, right?!

flying without wings

when you love yourself enough, you will be able to appreciate things better...
you will see everything as a GIFT and i am learning to recognize my blessings... great!

thanks, but no thanks bro.....

i received a call from someone totally unexpected.

that person made me feel so much better about myself BUT i don't think re-building a "friendship" that once existed is appropriate this time.... sorry, but i want time for myself.... i want to feel contented being single first before i commit again... giving so much is tiring sometimes and i honestly don't want to feel this annoying pain EVER again... :-/



love is really funny.... we all yearn for it but once we get it---we ignore it. once we claim it---it gets lost right before our eyes... oh well LOVE IS ALL A GAMBLE.. rigth?!

HOSTAGE!

oh my... that was one bloody mess! i seriously think that the new security offices of our country sucks! if they planned to have the hostage taker dead at the end of the drama, they could have just shot him while no tourist was yet to be shot! how stupid of them! the hostage taker even leaned on the glass window of the bus for minutes and they did nothing! they could even have the wheels of the bus shot by a sniper using a silencer.. i don't know but hell! that incident made the philippines look so bad! i blame both the media and the poor planning of those policemen for this.. it's a shame that ROLANDO MENDOZA is a Filipino...... it's a shame that there are mindless idiots roaming around! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

photography 101

got 1 of my ex's register me for a photography 101 seminar on November. i am so excited! yes i know i don't have a camera yet and my bez is still too busy to buy that cam for me so i have decided to apply for a credit card and buy one for myself. i want the nikon d3100, it is not that expensive, it's only 35k unlike the others that might cost 40k+ . it's so much better than the one that i originally planned to have (d40 or a d90) this one is a 14.2megapix cam that comes with a live view, a new powerful EXPEED 2 processing engine and a wide range of NIKKOR*2 lenses deliver excellent pictures with amazing detail wherever you are and whatever you are doing. It has ISO 100-3200 sensitivity, with the versatility of effectively boosting ISO up to 12800. This significantly reduces the risk of blurred images when taking pictures! isn't it great?! it also has a 3in lcd screen, dual integrated dust reduction system plus it is also very light! i can't wait to put my hands on them!!! rarrrr!


if i become good at this, my best friend and i will put up a studio... he already has 6 lenses, 2 nikon cam bodies plus he will also study formally in japan... i can't wait!!!!

moving on.... again and finally :-)

i watched titanic earlier today, thanks to the pile of pirated dvds that my aunt owns :-) it helped a lot in remembering what love should be... how to move on... how to go on... frankly, i don't think i lost someone, i believe i just lost a part of myself. i gave it away and completely surrendered it to someone who did't want it. that's what makes it hard for me. i loved too much and i didn't listen to anyone, just like what rose did in the movie. the only difference is that, she trusted her heart to a man who loved her back---she did the right thing, she earned the rewards of taking risks in love. i tried to do the same unfortunately, i gave it not to a jack dawson---i gave it to "just some guy" and now i know that not every male who loves their mother can be a lovable partner too---still has to take a good look at them..


whew.... crying over that is no option....I WILL MOVE ON no matter what (love that phrase). And hah! like what celine dion's song said: "i believe that the heart does go on....."

TEAM BEER WOLF!

oh i just got a text message from my TL Resty, he informed me that i am going to be a part of his team--teamberwolf. :-) im so happy! jonel, my best bud at work is also my team mate! i feel like i have a good chance of getting promoted! i swear i will take this company seriously! goodluck to me!

funny moments with friends

i forgot how it felt to be really, genuinely happy so i searched for some funny pics i have with my friends. i want that life back! i forgot how it felt to be alive!

spur of the moment?

i think not.

i applied at fitness first.
i will apply for a credit card.
i will buy a new phone.
will get my hair done next week

i have decided to stop thinking about what makes me sad..why should i right?

i managed to do it after moo, i can do it again.

plus, i have a belief that courage is like a muscle, it gains strength with usage. THIS is the perfect time for it. i can't wait for my endorphins to be released!

this is life! no lies. no insecurities. no stupid people to nurse! :-)

SLR

LOL they uploaded MY PICTURES, not the ones that i took :-( maybe they're not that good..sayang! but i am happy coz i got to use my friends slr cams! :-) i used d60, d90 and this canon cam.

oh no!

i saw a young lady earlier, probably a 14yr old girl who reminded me of someone... i felt sick.. i did not know i was also attached to blah..... T.T

the drunkard!

LOL i don't know how many group messages i sent out to the wrong group last night! anyway, here's my most drunk look!

...

i wish..

i can be like someone---- COLD. not bitter, just COLD.

LUHA LOL

lol the song says what i feel inside ye it makes me laugh since it's an aegis song and i sang it last night during my drunk loser moment! :-)



Akala ko ikaw ay akin
Totoo sa aking paningin
Ngunit nang ikaw ay yakapin
Naglaho sa dilim
Ninais kong mapalapit sa'yo
Ninais kong malaman mo
Ang mga paghihirap ko
Balewala lang sa'yo

Ikaw ay aking minahal
Kasama ko ang Maykapal
Ngunit ako pala'y naging isang hangal
Naghahangad ng isang katulad mo

Hindi ko na kailangan
Umalis ka na sa aking harapan
Damdamin ko sa `yo ngayon ay naglaho na
At ito ang 'yong tandaan
Ako'y masyadong nasaktan
Pag-ibig at pagsuyo na kahit na sa luha
Mababayaran mo

Tingnan mo ang katotohanan
Na tayo'y pare-pareho lamang
May damdamin ding nasasaktan
Puso mo'y nasaan?

PUSO MO AY NASAAN? :-P

..conquering my mountain :-)

Well, I opened my heart, and I let you in. I promised I'd never love again.. I deal with your memories the best I can and I've even been out too, i hope someday I will truly get over you.. If I could ever feel the way I felt and if my heart approves... well, I'll take a chance with someone else.. :-)

I never thought I'd see it but I think I see the light now.. I know that what I have to do is get on with my life an stop wasting it on you but I can't fake another day and
I can't face a night without the ghost of you so I will just take another breath and try let it go one step at a time. :-)

:-)

alright it's 3am and i am still awake. im not drunk anymore but i am thinking again.


"maybe the song close open was taught to children for them to know when to get things and when to let them go."

nice thought right?

my heart has been closed for all the wrong reasons..

now it is time to open up again :-)

dear ex bf..

i don't miss you. i miss the man i THOUGHT you were...

SLR galore!

yey! i am sooooo happy... my baby brother khalil lend me his dslr cam (nikon d90) to have some practice at taking pics... i can't wait to see the pics tomorrow... i had a blast today, from taking pics to getting all drunk tonight.. im soooo tired!

LADY "GA"

thank you for teaching me how to love.. for teaching me how to feel, for showing me my emotions and for letting me know

what's real
from what is not..

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME EXPERIENCE THE KIND OF LOVE YOU KNOW I DESERVE. it's been 3 years, yet our time still is the best afterall... :-)

best bud @ work

im thriving well... that's one thing.

i have a very honest frined at work--Jonel.

my goodness, he's so tactless eerrr brutally honest when it comes to me.. but i like it. atleast he tells me stuff that im scared to admit.. he's like a lil bro even if im just 8monthns older than him, he's like my bestfriend mac! my workday is not going to be complete if i won't hear anything crazily negative about me from him--makes me laugh a lot!

last night, he saw me teary eyed at the stairs going to the 2nd flr pantry.. he noticed it and asked me why--told him that i was just touched by someoness honesty and then he said he knows that it is not the reason, he said he knows it has something to do with another person errr from the opposite sex--BINGO! so there... told him what has been bothering me and he said:

"friend, ang tanga mo... wag ka magsuicide para namang huling lalake na sa mundo yang iniiyakan mo.."

i told him my reason for crying... that i love the other person. and of course he asked me the one thing that i don't want to be asked..

"bakit, mahal ka ba niya?"

i took a deep breath and was not able to answer coz tears already flooded my eyes..

i know he doesn't... that's what i said inside... and then, he said the thing that i kinda didn't expect from him:

"kase ang happiness hindi dinedepend sa ibang tao, dapat mahalin mo muna sarili mo bago ka nagiilusyon sa relasyon.. sa tingin mo, self love yan? self torture yan.. tumigil ka na, muka kang tanga.."

how sweet right? he called me tanga again LOL

that's funny but that's true.. perhaps tanga nga ako for sticking up with someone and for ignoring the obvious signs that i am just in for some more PAIN...

hay... love is confusing! false hopes! i thought accepting someone as they are will make relationships easier, I DID but it made my life harder..... no more please.. i hope i can really stop now. :'c

whatever......

"i love you."

"i adore you."

those are strong statements.

never say it unless you mean it---said my friend.

now i know why it was never mentioned to me...

now i know why it was only "texted"

when someone told me he adores me, it's just a lie.....

a BIG FAT LIE i wanted so much to believe.

Yeah right..

Grrr.... Sometimes, choosing the person you will love is a necessity. They say, we should never make a record of wrong doings when we are in a partnership, but in love and in real life- i think WE HAVE TO.. we need to keep our eyes wide--open! We need to know someone deeply before we try to build a relationship with them, if not-then we are just like giving away our right to security.. yes security---that the person you are with feels the same way for you. Yes we must take risks but sometimes, we shouldn't.. we most definitely have to be careful and cautious specially if we want to have that relationship we want. Am i making any sense? I don't know, a bottle of beer really makes me dizzy, perhaps a bit delirious too. oh well... who cares?

back at 1

Lately I've been thinking that it's time too realize that I've been so blind..
with you I never really spoke my mind.. you always put me down..
now I feel my life is so refine.. i think i am finally able to shine..

Never really made it to cloud 9 with you and now that you're gone I think I'm doing just fine..
Can't believe I wasted all my time.. sometimes i wish I can press rewind and leave everything that you gave behind.

Everything I gave you'd break it ..I was so hurt that my heart couldn't take it
You always say sorry but i know you don't mean it..

i think i wanna be over you.

happy at work

my hearts desire

well.. maybe i am on a rush....

i want to get married. i want to have a husband who wants to see me after work.. who will kiss me in the forehead when he arrives... a family of my own. i wanna see myself looking at a tiny baby with loving eyes while another is set on me... i wanna take care of someone and be with him til my hair becomes grey.. i wanna sit beside someone and have a quiet moment--in perfect peace. i want a quiet life, no angst.. nothing but love... i want that... i am inlove with someone now but i really can't see myself having a future with him... yes it is odd but i just don't think that he can reciprocate the passion i have for him.. i know love should be unconditional but letting someone treat you in a way you don't deserve to be treated is not a way of loving yourself unconditionally.

i know how to love. and i know someone will love me the way i know how to love....

headache

now i really know how hard it is to be the head of the family... im getting sick from having 2 jobs :-( my gosh.... lotto na lang yata pagasa ko now hahaha

i see you

i can see the odds, but i don't care... i choose to be hopeful.. if this time we will still fail to be a good couple, then that is it... i cannot afford to get hurt again by one person....

Amazing Grace

the mere thought of asking God for help in times of trouble is already a proof that HE is calling me..

and i can feel in every nerve in my body the willingness to submit..

i am happy to say, that He healed me.

i used to be blind, but now i can see..

bottom line

mahal ko pa din sia :-( hay nako!

to that "FOOL" hearted man: tis what i say to you

you're the kind of man that makes a woman think that you can change, but guess what baby, the only thing that is changing is my way of thinking! i am not going through your lie bounded-love story plan for me again.. i am also thinking that someday, someone is gonna give you a lesson about leaving someone who loves you so much--and i hope i am there to see you knocked down....

done ignoring the red flags

why bother spending time to think about someone and their intentions when they should have revealed it the moment you meet [if they really have good ones]

EUROPA 2011

Germany baby!


i hope this time everything will be ok.. :-)

dasal galore mode!

letting go is not a one time-thing.. for me, it should be done every day til you finally "let go"

I hate being put in this position.. I'm forcing myself to let go of the one person that I need in my life. He's the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me.. I know that I'm better off without him, yet I feel empty whenever I try to let go...but I guess that emptiness is better than constant hurt.

I choose to finally go cause I can't stand this pain. It's time for my last tear to fall and me to smile again.

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend...

You hug him good-bye like it's nothing... while all you want to do is hold on forever...but you let go, smile and walk away... then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same... because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free... and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all.

i have to let go now... i wanna love you and myself better....

sick in the mind to the nth power

he did it again.

no, actually, we did it again.

he fooled me, i let him fool me.

now he's back in davao, and im here crying.

aarrrrrrrrrgh!

so true 101

"To be sure, none of us is perfect. And that needs to be seen for exactly what it is: a fact . . . a condition, not an excuse. Compensating for our imperfections and overcoming the temptations we face require commitment and self-discipline. Behaving ethically - being people of integrity - isn't always easy, but it is always right!"

when will i ever learn???

i wanna talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me... atleast that's what i think... i want an old friend to counsel me but because of what i did to him and his family, it will never happen..

im so messed up.. for a month, i was able to survive a world without the thought of jerome and suddenly, he'll bust in the door and act and there i was----fooled again.


a night after the rendezvous, i'll wake up feeling worse than hurt [waaaay deep inside]

ouch :-(

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
why do you have to tell me you love me and act like it when you're just there to torn my heart into pieces--again! and you, my dear crazy heart, why do you always fall for it????

can't stop the moonlight

oh my.... he was trying to call me coz he is in manila...

didn't answer 2 calls before finally responding..

we met up...

and the rest is history. :-)


lol

he bought a DSLR camera, and that's quite an adventure! why?

ok... here's why,.

we met up friday morning...

he only had an hour of sleep and me? NONE.

we went to glorietta and made a canvass...

jerome was eyeing for the lens--NOT the cam hahaha

so we went to SONY first and checked what they have, then to canon, back to sony, back to canon comparing specs now... can you imagine? and btw, i was wearing a 4in heeled shoe :-p

it was around 2pm and we really can't understand what the sales people are saying so we decided to sleep first...

after a few hours, we went SLR hunting again, this time to MOA... and lol we went to CANON AGAIN...... this time to compare prices.....

then God sent mr alexander, a photographer.... hekhek, he was carrying a dslr cam with a looooooong lens so we asked him for tips about camera quality and the like, to our surprise, he also knows where to get the cheapest :-)

he's friends with the canon shops owner! yey! so jerome got his canon d550 and 2 lens (18x55m forgot the other one) for only 45k!

now jerome has a new toy... hope he'll do well in his new found passion :-)


oh yeah, i almost forgot... before we said our goodbyes, we exchanged L words... like awavshu! hahahahaha and then he went back to his hotel, me? i went back directly to work NO SLEEP.... now pa lang... and i am still online hehehehe

MISSED CALL :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tnzTCWpp0k

i had a missed call from someone i dare not mention thy name hehehe

this is my answer.. :-)

leave me alone... please..

salary----got it--held it--now it's gone! lol

wow.... i got my first salary from hinduja... so happy and after holding it, i immediately gave it away.. lol i paid debts and sent money home.. tsk tsk

independent woman [rants]

yikes, do i really have a right to call myself a woman? hehehe i think i do.... love thyself right? :-p
it's so hard to stay away from home and not have someone to spend time with.. i have my friends at work but they live so far from where im staying at so bonding afterwork is really not an option :-(


i miss having company! ugh....... i can't even go out much and stroll in malls because our first salary will only be released on the fifteenth... it's the 14th now and the ATM already has money in it but lucky me--IT WON'T DISPENSE CASH! waaaah so crazy! i don't even have enough money for today, so goodluck to me later...

so what do i do to kill time? i stay late in the office and come oh so early..... my shift is 8p to 5a and i arrive 3hours before it starts, leave atleast 2 hours after it ended.... yeah i know, my life is so boring!

alcoholic mind

love... how do you define it?

they say that when you truly love someone, fight for them.

others say let them go..

i say, fight for the one you love but when the other person tells you to stop----

that's the time to let go...

it's hard to do but it is not impossible...

learning to give happiness to the one you love with you out of the picture is also a way of showing your love and respect for yourself..

love is everything we do...

wait a minute...

i am done feeling like THE failure in every past rel i had..

hmm... i was good to my exs.. ugh... all this time, i've been torturing myself for thinking that i was the mistake they committed, DUH!!!! i was good to them... now im finally getting that thinking stuff going on inside my head lol

i believe i deserve credit though... i don't think it's right for any of them to make me feel like that way----again..

i am happy now i am single. not willing to mingle haha

it's my own heartache that taught me to focus on myself for once....

fact 101

When we believe how things should or shouldn't be, rather than how they are, we are living an illusion. The more we focus on illusions, the more we block out reality. Likewise, when we focus on problems, we block out solutions.

I am solving my problem, therefore I am now out of my illusion---that you and i should be blah...

minsan ako ay nagseryoso.. :-p

"Without filters we wander aimlessly through life. . . . We are simply out at sea drifting from one distraction to another. Core values create boundaries. Boundaries create focus, and focus minimizes drift."

a relationship is a partnership... if one does not have the proper core values, no boundary will be recognized and without it, there can be no focus resulting to a sure NEGATIVE DRIFT..

GOT IT?

i'll kiss dating goodbye

3 years ago, a very good friend gave me 2 books by Joshua Harris, I kissed dating goodbye and boy meets girl... i never really understood why he chose those books but now i do.... after a series of failed relationships, i finally had the courage to take a look at things a bit seriously..

something is wrong with me and i just don't want to admit it...

i am impatient, aggressive and i lack wisdom. i thought i am ready but i wasn't. i thought i know everything but i clearly have no clue on what to do...

now i am reading the second book of Joshua Harris--boy meets girl and i feel like refraining on obsessing about having someone i can share my life with------coz i know im not yet ready!

this time, i wanna prepare myself... i wanna submit myself first to Him before i start wondering who my perfect mate will be... i now realize the value of time and patience in love, why wisdom is important and why faith is very important...

i feel more at peace now...

i thank kuya levi for giving me those books..... now i know why you're sent. :-)

so true...

When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies, no broken promises.....

midnight crisis

I can't sleep, it's almost 4am and i have been online since 12mn and surprise, surprise... i saw some stuff that reminds a lot of not so pleasant experiences, it sucks to feel that way and so i realized that i had enough... yes i know that i finally had enough... too much pain, too much drama... i want nothing of it...time to move on... time to flip and see the other side of the coin...

Here's a thought.... to let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free...

right?

goodluck to me... :-)

total eclipse of MY heart

oh my goody!!! i super love dr. carlisle cullen of the twilight saga!
i only watched the movie because of him! the role was "beautifully" played/portrayed by peter facinelli (not sure of the spelling) he really captured the doctors description in the book...
if he's real, by all means, he may bite me! hahahahaha